Never Spoke to My Ex Again
Okay To Talk To Your Ex?
ane. Not if he'southward a stupid asshole.View post
"Oddly, I stay in touch with his family only non him. They were basically similar 'he's being a stupid asshole, we're sorry' and I don't talk to him because…he's a stupid asshole."
—hey_thatsmyinbox
2. Waking the dead won't bring the person back.
"Breakups hurt, no matter what. It is like grieving a death. But waking the dead won't bring the person back."
—Moon
3. The good times are over and it's time to move the fuck on.
"I get it, you feel alone sometimes, but the last person you should run to is the asshole that put you in that position. When yous get your heart broken it is merely normal to experience lamentable and call back the good times: the flowers, the sex, the laughs, and the love. Estimate what? The good times are over and it'south time to motility the fuck on."
—Cara
4. Hell no.
"Tin I just say 'hell no' and exit information technology at that? My own experiences take not led me to want to exist friends with my ex, which I think says something on its ain. For those that tin can maintain the friendship after the split—kudos. Though it seems a whole new brawl game when either party enters a new relationship…"
—Eileen
5. I simply plain have no interest in talking to a mean drug aficionado.
"He threatened to abandon our cat and told me to go hang myself (I have mild suicidal episodes). He besides made light of my past as a victim of corruption/sexual assault. Also I just plain have no interest in talking to a hateful drug aficionado."
—synthetic-sanity
6. It prevents both people from moving on with their lives.
"There is absolutely no reason to talk to exes if you don't have kids. If you piece of work together or pass by on the street, fine. Otherwise, it prevents both people from moving on with their lives. No ane is gaining anything, but both people are just wasting time when they could run into someone who's a meliorate fit."
—LaserBeamsCattleProd
seven. Why hunt someone who cannot encounter your value?
"I cutting all contact a calendar month agone later on existence dumped effectually 4 months agone. I still don't know if keeping away is the all-time thing to do simply im sticking to it and taking baby steps. I don't know what else to say except fight and keep fighting. Weep, sob, be miserable. It's all role of the grieving procedure. I know this is corny simply every dark deject does have a silver lining. Just believe that something adept is awaiting. And its truthful—why hunt someone who cannot see your value?"
—MessedUp
8. Do non phone call!
"Do not telephone call! Men like to figure things out on their own, and sometimes it takes existence apart from the adult female for a while earlier the man realizes how much he misses her and loves her. If you call earlier he has thought things through, and before he has had fourth dimension to really miss you, yous could interrupt the procedure…which could lead to him breaking it off with y'all for good."
—Jill
9. It will only crusade you heartbreak.
"I say, don't call the ex. Information technology will merely cause you heartbreak. Delete his telephone number from your mobile phone so you are not tempted. Delete him from your Facebook friends too. Await to the time to come with a level caput, and let the past be the by no matter how proficient information technology was, a decision was made to end the relationship, and information technology's most likely the same would happen once again if the relationship is given some other hazard."
—Proper noun Withheld
x. It'south easier to exist split up.
"I don't want to be friends with my exes. I choose to part ways with them, and then they don't demand to be part of my life. I'thousand not one for sentiment, and there might be underlying temptation. It'south easier to be separate."
—Jane
xi. He sent an viii-paragraph message threatening suicide.
"We had a messy breakup. I friended him on Facebook because information technology had been over two decades since nosotros'd been together. I figured it wouldn't be weird to cheque in on him.
Not fifty-fifty 12 hours after I sent a DM to the outcome of 'hey! We should go together with our families and catch up sometime.' He sent an viii-paragraph message threatening suicide.
He got my telephone number a few weeks afterwards and called begging for coin. I acquainted him on FB and hoped he'd get the message. Then he wrote request me to cover for him with his wife considering she was suspicious of the affair he was having.
Annnnnddd that'due south why I don't talk to my ex at all at present."
—ligamentary
12. Someone always ends up getting hurt.
"No, I don't recollect it's a good idea. It affects future relationships no matter who the people are. To ignore that or deny that it has Whatever affect at all is superficial. Someone always ends up getting injure."
—Chaucee
thirteen. I can't be friends with my exes considering the mode they bankrupt up with me was besides bad.
"I don't think it tin can work unless the reason for the finish of the human relationship is that y'all two realized y'all are more friends than lovers. I can't be friends with my exes because the way they broke upwardly with me was as well bad."
—Chloe Moon
14. I think some time has to pass beginning.
"It can work, just I remember some time has to pass start. Y'all both need fourth dimension to heal and move on before y'all effort to establish a friendship outside of what was once your 'relationship.' The only long-term friendships I've been able to maintain with exes have worked considering of this."
—Alison
15. I never advise it.
"I recall you could, but I never advise it. Things always become messy and it'south dangerous for future relationships. You simply have to permit it get and motion on."
—Alyssa
16. Three months need to pass before re-establishing contact.
"Usually not, simply it depends on the reasons for the breakup. Definitely not if ane person still wants to appointment (or marry!) the other. It too depends on how physical the relationship was. I'm friends with ane of my exes, but we never even kissed. And then the time the relationship lasted, if not longer, must pass (if you lot engagement for iii months, three months need to pass earlier re-establishing contact)."
—Anamaria
17. Information technology'south not fair to you or your side by side love to be still involved with an ex.
"In the get-go no, a friendship should be avoided with your ex. I practise think that after several years afterward you both have moved on a simple 'hello, how are you' is fine, simply just if you happen to run into that person unintentional. Information technology's not fair to you or your side by side love to exist nevertheless involved with an ex."
—Rebecca
18. I think it depends on the people involved.
"I think information technology depends on the people involved. I'1000 still friends with one of my exes, merely it took a year or 2 to figure out what our new boundaries were going to be as friends. We definitely aren't as close as nosotros once were, but he is still definitely a function of my life. If my current beau and I broke up, though, I don't think we could still exist friends. He's not the type of person who could forgive and forget."
—Eleanor
19. It leaves also much space open to wonder 'what if we could make information technology work again?'
"I'm sure it'due south possible simply I've never been able to be friends with my ex-boyfriends. For me, it leaves too much space open to wonder 'what if we could make information technology piece of work again' and I discover that piddling window to be detrimental to moving on."
—Maiah
20. I call back it's important and good for you to be friends with an ex.
"I think information technology'southward of import and salubrious to be friends with an ex. I agree with some posts that immediately afterward a breakup a friendship isn't likely, everyone needs time to heal. However, I'm always suspicious if a guy I'm dating is not on speaking terms or friendly with his ex, information technology says a lot about the previous relationship.
I discover it hard to imagine not wanting to be friends with someone who you at i bespeak idea was a very good person, good enough to date. As I said, immediately afterwards probably not, only at some point when you're both over things both parties should exist able to say, Ok that happened for a reason, nosotros both got something out of information technology, nosotros both grew in unlike ways only that was right and then only not right forever."
—Logan
21. I don't actually think it'southward a good thought to be friends with an ex, but I think being friendly is very of import.
"I retrieve there is a large difference betwixt beingness friends and being friendly. Oftentimes friends of mine have tried to focus likewise much on the friendship office right after the breakup and it just ends up making the situation worse. I retrieve a lot of space is essential especially in the first and and so after that it is important to just be friendly. I don't really think it'south a good idea to be friends with an ex, but I think being friendly is very important because then you know that you have moved on and you aren't putting whatsoever effort into negative energy or a negative relationship!"
—Jessi
22. If you tin be friends afterward a intermission-upwardly, information technology means y'all were never actually in honey, or you lot withal are.
"As a general dominion, I don't think it's possible to be friends. I think the old saying goes, 'If yous can exist friends after a break-up, it means you lot were never actually in love, or you nonetheless are.' I am friends with i of my ex-boyfriends from years and years agone, just not with my most recent. You tin can nonetheless care for that person and be cordial, merely a friendship is hard—especially if there are feelings on any side. I find it hard to find the new boundaries of friendship with someone who you were once and then intimate with. I really believe its best for both parties despite what they experience for the other person to let go and move on."
—Ashley
23. My ex-boyfriend and commencement real love whom I dated for over two years came to my hymeneals! And I'll exist at his wedding this summer.
"Totally! My ex-boyfriend and first real love whom I dated for over two years came to my wedding ceremony! And I'll exist at his wedding this summer. We broke upwards because the chemical science had fizzled so information technology was pretty easy to simply stay friends, although it took virtually 6-12 months to not experience a little jealous of other people in his life…"
—Shayna
24. It depends on you, the ex, the nature of the breakup, and how the whole shebang went downwards.
"Information technology depends on you, the ex, the nature of the breakup, and how the whole shebang went down. In that location is one ex of mine in particular whom I do not maintain a friendship with whatsoever because our relationship was destructive and unfruitful. We've run into each other a couple of times and we're cordial plenty to briefly 'catch up' like Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn at the end of the The Breakup. Simply that's the terminate of that, there's no kind of contact, no phone number commutation nor e-mail…nada!
On the other side of that money is another ex who has loved me like no other till the terminate of time. Nosotros ended things with beloved. And because of his nature and the loving kindness of our relationship we managed to maintain a cute friendship immediately after we bankrupt up, and even over long distance to this day. This is a very unusual situation for me. Actually it'southward just patently weird, but he's one of my closest friends.
Once you decide to breakup, break up. If both parties, and I mean both parties, can get past the romantic issues and whatsoever baggage of bitterness and so a friendship is possible. Just I wouldn't force it, organic is always preferred ;)"
—Deeyarah
25. I have yet to remain friends with an ex.
"I believe information technology depends on the ex and the situation you ended the relationship in. That being said I have still to remain friends with an ex nor have I had an ex that I would want to remain friends with. I like to believe it is possible and mayhap one day in the future we volition be able to exist friends. I do believe in being friendly, or at least polite specially when you lot have mutual friends."
—Laura
26. If your human relationship was complicated and messy than its better to just walk away and get out it at that.
"I call up information technology depends. If you were amend at being friends than being something more than than certain information technology'southward possible. But if your human relationship was complicated and messy than its better to just walk abroad and leave it at that."
—Brittany
27. One time nosotros break upwards, we suspension up.
"This is kind of interesting. I've never had a crazy, intense breakdown (or a super serious relationship), merely I've too never stayed friends with an ex. One time we break up, we break up. Now, I volition stick past my decisions with this and continue to say it was the all-time idea for both parties, but at that place is a function of me that feels like you lot tin can appointment someone, break up, and Eventually exist friends. Or maybe 'friendly' is the better give-and-take?? It depends on an entire grab handbag of things—maturity, the past relationship, so many factors. Relationships are complicated and they're definitely all different. I recall 1 matter is for certain. Time is necessary for all of u.s.. Information technology allows you fourth dimension to reacquaint yourself with yourself, your friends, who that particular boyfriend/girlfriend is/was. Then, you can determine whether condign friends or mere acquaintances (or strangers) is correct for the 2 of yous. Information technology definitely varies, but if you lot can BOTH manage to have a responsible human relationship later on, I say go alee. Perhaps with a petty circumspection and consideration of any new relationships. (I probably won't be changing my opinion with whatsoever of my old flames, though.)"
—Lydia
28. If your relationship doesn't mean a lot to you anymore, yes.
"If your relationship doesn't mean a lot to yous anymore and information technology'southward been a long fourth dimension since you lot broke up you could be friends. I mean let'due south face it, if you've been hurt by him you couldn't forget that in a million years you lot'll always have that piffling dark side that wants revenge each time you talk specially if he wants you lot back. So I recall as long equally your previous human relationship didn't mean something at that time nor it does at present yous could be friends."
—Yasmine
29. If you are both on the same page and don't accept residual feelings for each other it's comforting to remain friends.
"I am friends with my ex from college. We were off and on for a couple years and it took virtually a year before we were able to really be friends however it'southward been eight years since nosotros beginning dated and he is one of my all-time friends. I remember it really depends on what kind of breakup information technology was. My other ex and I can't even be in the aforementioned room with each other let alone be friends. If y'all are both on the same page and don't have residual feelings for each other it'due south comforting to remain friends."
—Sarah
30. As long as you tin accept that there tin can never be anything more.
"I recollect nether some situations yous can remain friends as long as you can accept that at that place tin never exist anything more. I take a ex that I intendance most and nosotros a both married just I would rather accept him and accept him as a friend than lose all contact with him. I always care about him but I have accepted we were not meant to be more and I'g non sad or depressed about it."
—Juliette
31. Information technology depends on the maturity level of your personalities.
"It depends on the maturity level of your personalities. I meant both of you. Breakups are ugly most of the times, and those who are non willing to exit the thought of loving that person again or refrain from the thought that they can't exist loved. Exes can be peachy friends. Merely only if you lot accept a clear idea that you two were beautiful together in the idea of past, but not present. Well, at times you may feel similar connecting once more. Merely ever retrieve at that place is a reason why they are your 'ex'! Personally I practice talk, nosotros are content and take realized that we tin't exist together. We ask each other well-nigh career advice, sometimes personal choice or almost health and life. The thought of love has vanished, just friendship is sailing."
—Aniket
32. Once in a while, it is okay to transport a text bulletin or an electronic mail.
"If the ending of the relationship was 'good' (that is, no harsh words or insults were tossed out and both people have come to a mutual understanding of the reason things ended) then talking every once in a while following the kickoff few weeks is okay. The showtime week, information technology may not be a good idea to talk to one another because with wounds still fresh, somebody may end upwardly maxim something they will subsequently regret. Notwithstanding, afterwards that initial period, it can be helpful to talk once in a while. Now, talking to an ex should non exist the aforementioned as talking to a meaning other. Don't talk to each other every day, and perhaps not even every week. Once in a while, it is okay to ship a text message or an email or fifty-fifty to talk on the phone or in person. Not severing all ties immediately will help both parties to ease into the new state of affairs of being apart. Later on all, information technology is hard to never once more see or speak to someone whom you once truly cared for."
—Abby
33. Best to only cutting contact.
"Don't have a practiced reason to talk. We don't live in the same state anymore, we dated years ago, nosotros're both in relationships now, and our human relationship didn't stop on good terms. Why take a chance causing problems for each other by maintaining regular contact? All-time to only cut contact."
—yeahokayiguess
34. I just don't really take any reason to talk to them.
"I just don't really have whatever reason to talk to them. It tin be adept to catch upwards every couple of years. I wish them the best, and I hope they're living a skillful life. But I don't see why, beyond catching upwards every now and and so, I'd be talking to them."
—armadillaspanish
35. If he doesn't come up back, that tells you lot the most important matter about everything.
"To everyone suffering through a break-up……don't telephone call, text, or email him. Particularly go run across him. trust me, I've washed information technology myself and at the end of the mean solar day u may think it made you experience better only actually, your convincing him to be with you…..stay strong. Let him come up back on his own….if he does, he loves u. how can u know if he loves u if u keep bothering him?…if he doesn't come back, that tells yous the most important thing about everything….information technology wasn't meant to be. No matter what happened. Love isn't supposed to exist this way…give yourself a chance to encounter someone who volition fight for you and your relationship and who will be crazy almost being with a daughter like you."
—Cristal
36. Y'all volition still be emotional and volition end upward saying something that you regret and make the situation worse.
"This is a dilemma for many and information technology tin can exist most incommunicable to cease yourself from calling your ex after breakup. You should try and stop yourself from doing so I retrieve as yous will still be emotional and will stop upwards proverb something that you regret and brand the situation worse. Also, your ex could say something that makes you fifty-fifty more upset."
—love is hurt
37. Guys, if you broke upwards, it is over.
"Guys, if you broke up, it is over. Once y'all're done you're done. No matter who broke up you will be doing both a favor by being potent and but toughing it out. Believe me, I come from both sides of the fence. I broke up with guy I cared a lot virtually just realized that I was not actually in love with him. I tried to stay in impact in order to 'ease him into' the pause up, he guilted me into getting back together, and I spent another grueling six month before I bankrupt up for good. Virtually a yr later we reconnected, only without the baggage, and are now good friends with completely split lives. On the other manus, I was madly in love with a guy, and despite the suspension-up, I couldn't keep from emailing (I never chosen, we communicated via e-mail), and somewhen we did sort of got dorsum together, but the dynamics of our relationship has gravely changed. In a word, once you allow yourself to be desperate (and if yous call you ever are, regardless of what the article say, or how yous 'make' yourself sound) yous give up whatsoever semblance of emotional equality in the relationship, and you have no lost all your bargaining chips. From now on, he will always accept the upper hand. Exist wise, if information technology is over, let it get. Information technology will hurt every bit hell in the beginning, but it WILL become better in time. Don't be a fool, find someone to dear you back and appreciate you lot. Y'all deserve that."
—Dina 
Source: https://thoughtcatalog.com/jessica-winters/2016/09/37-girls-answer-the-question-should-you-ever-talk-to-your-ex/
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